Mary, Midge and Jean: a tribute
Jean, Mary and Midge (L-R) on Mary’s 80th birthday
The end of an era has come, but the legacy of Mary, Midge and Jean lives on. Before I tell you about these three special ladies and the positive impact they’ve had on my life, here’s the big lesson I’ve learned from all of them: be a person of self-sacrificing love and your life will be rich and meaningful and pleasing to God.
Why talk about them now? Because death has a way of prompting reflection - the last of the three sisters recently went home to the Lord, and it happened in the loveliest way possible: Aunt Jean (95 years old) died on Easter within moments of Pope Francis, a fitting ending for a woman who epitomized the “saint next door" the pope often talked about.
Who were Mary, Midge and Jean? Mary (my sweet mother-in-law), and her younger sisters Midge and Jean, came of age in the 1930s and ‘40s, and they epitomized the “greatest generation.” To quote Aunt Midge (who was a gifted writer), they were “millionaires in the things that really mattered,” centering their lives on faith, family, friends and serving others with the unique gifts and talents God gave you.
Between the three of them they had 20 kids (7+6+7), you heard me right - 20! And aside from once inadvertently leaving a few of them behind at the zoo (prompting laughs for many years), they were moms par excellence! Why? Because they delighted in their kids - whether it was teaching them to swim in the waves, singing to them on the swings or reading to them at bedtime. They made motherhood look fun and easy and beautiful, because to them, it was! And nothing was ever too much for them.
They could cook a full-blown turkey dinner for 40 people in Balboa (who does that?!) and the next day don their bathing caps and take a gaggle of kids swimming across the bay. Aunt Midge used to bring 100 ice cream cones down to Balboa and she’d go through them in two weeks - handing them out to nieces and nephews left and right. In addition to being amazing moms, they each taught me something special. I’ll start with Mary, who influenced me the most.
Mary taught me that you could build a rich and meaningful life around close family ties and lifelong friendships. She had two superpowers: cooking for large groups and connecting people with similar interests (church, tennis, bridge, poker, square dancing). Using her God-given talents, she created fun and memorable events that turned into epic traditions (Balboa trips, tennis weekends, themed house parties). She catered weddings and hosted church fundraisers where people could build lasting friendships that fed their souls. No one could throw a party like Mary, but it wasn’t merely about the party - it was about creating bonds to last a lifetime.
Midge taught me how to bless others with the gift of affirming words. Whether it was a toast, a eulogy or a tribute for someone’s birthday, Midge could capture someone’s essence with meaningful words and make it rhyme and flow like nobody’s business. She used her God-given talent for writing to make people feel special, and above all - loved. If Aunt Midge wrote a tribute about you (which she did for my 30th birthday) you felt honored in a unique and truly special way.
Jean taught me what it looks like to be the “saint next door,” a term coined by Pope Francis to convey a simple truth: we can all pursue holiness, because we can all love and care for the person God places in our path. Once dubbed the “Mother Teresa of Orange County,” Jean used her God-given spirit of compassion to care for her suffering neighbor, regardless of who they were or where they came from. She started a non-profit in Costa Mesa that continues to help people in need, and her kids and grandkids continue her legacy of helping the poor and marginalized.
I can’t overstate the positive influence Mary, Midge and Jean have had on my life. They modeled kindness, patience, humility and a childlike faith that gave life to not only 20 kids and countless grandkids and great grandkids, but to people like me, who were blessed to be in their presence and learn some truly valuable lessons - the main one being that when you put God and others before yourself, you build a joy-filled life of meaning and purpose, and in the end, isn’t that what life is all about?